Thanksgiving

How was your Thanksgiving? Ours was good, different but good. We did not make any of our usual dishes, in fact we did not cook at all. We went to my Sil's cousins house. It was very good and very easy. The only people that were missing was, of course Dad and Steve. Steve had to work Thanksgiving night so he could not be in Thanksgiving in Wichita Falls. Dad was missed, but he is missed everyday. It is so hard knowing I will not see him again on this side of heaven. I know I will see him in heaven. God is giving me enough grace to get through each day.

Mom is doing great. She is setting small goals and working toward meeting them. Dad would be so proud of her. I know I am. She is working towards her G.E.D.

Did yall go shopping during black Friday? I didnt. I was in no mood to deal with the crowds. We bought our tree on Friday. It is very pretty. We are waiting on Lil' Jess to get home from school this afternoon to decorate it. It is hard to get in the holiday spirit but I know Dad would not want me to be sad.

Thanksgiving and other stuff bout Dad

I am trying so hard to get back to normal. I had to go to the doctor on Monday to get my self some help to sleep. I am finally feeling like a normal person again. We are making plans for our Thanksgiving. It will be very weird that Dad will not be there. His birthday is on Dec 4. Then Christmas. This is going to be such a bittersweet Christmas. It will be Lil' Jessica's first Christmas with us, but this will also be our first Christmas without Dad. Last Christmas was so bad. My sister and I fighting. I wish we would have known that was going to be his last. I wish so many things would be different.

One of these days I will post the poem I wrote and read at Dad's funeral.

I am Still Alive

Hello all. I can not believe it has been so long since I last posted. So much has happened, so many things. Well I guess first off we moved. We didnt go far but our house was having foundation issues and well we didnt want the house to fall on us. Anyways, I am now the Cubbie director for Awana. Awana is a club that reaches boys and girls with the gospel of Christ. I teach 3 and 4 year olds. It is so much fun. Sad news time, when we moved we could only have 1 animal. We kept Princess, Faith went to the Mother in Laws and Mr. Shadow went to my sisters house. We found out last Friday Faith died. She was unhappy and quit eating. My Daddy lost his battle with cancer on Oct. 17. He was at home and not alone. We know he is in such a better place and no longer suffering. He is missed and we have a huge hole in our family.

Tackle it Tuesday...Our Bedroom

I never thought I would have the courage to post these pictures. But, this made cleaning a little fun and enjoyable. I know its crazy. But I warn you now if you are tidy person, this might scare you a bit.

This is our scary dresser before....

This looks so much better.....

This is my make up table....














This is my stuff tote. It holds make up and more.














A clean and organized make up table.

















A clean tote and the area around it.

This is my Mt. Laundry

Look you can see the floor....

My bedside table.....

The floor around the beside table.....

The shelf by my side of the bed......

Pretty and clean

No stuff on the floor........

The clean shelf

Steve's bedside table

After

My jewelry box.....

No more stuff....Yes my next tackle it will be that scary closet!!!

The unmade bed

The made bed and a clean room.The hubby was so surprised when he returned from work.

It's Gone

I can not believe it. I have lost something that I can not believe that I lost. I lost my coupon binder. I guess I left it at the store last time we went shopping. I am sick. The binder is no big deal, but I also had some letters from friends that mean a lot to me. That binder also had hours of work from clipping, sorting, and printing the coupons. I can not believe I did that! I am so aggravated!!!! Grrrr

Faith is Getting Huge

Faith was 35 lbs. last time we weighted her. That was about a week ago. Where did my small sweet little puppy go? She can finally get on the couch by herself which makes Princess really unhappy. We are getting so much better in the house breaking. Only three accidents in about 3 days. We are fixing to have to go buy her third collar. The one she has now is extended to its limit. The rope is still her favorite toy. She really needs to learn to leave my shoes alone. She chewed my church shoes to pieces. They were the only pair of comfortable heels I had. All in all she is a huge gubber that makes us laugh on a daily basis. We love her, but I am ready for her to stop growing, but I know that is not happening.

Yes that is a toilet outside. We had to replace the one in Mom and Dads bathroom. I am waiting for it to be hauled of to the dump. Steve thought that was too funny. He had to put Princess on the potty.

Oh and by the way.....Today was Steve first day back at work full time.....YAHOO!!!!!!

Mothers Day......a day of celebration and pain

I love having a day to celebrate the women that have touched and shaped my life. My Mom, first and foremost, but then there are my Grandmothers, Aunts, women I call my 2ND Mother,my Mother in law, and my Sister. These women have taught me how to be a woman and changed my life in ways they will never know. We need to let these women more often how much we appreciate them more than once a year.

Mothers Day also is a day of pain for many women, including me.

• Women who have lost one of these important women in their lives.
• Women who have lost their child/children from whatever cause
• Women who have never been able to have to children.

I am in that third category. Year after year Mothers Day gets a little harder. I have made it a habit to try to spend Mothers Day with my Mom and not go anywhere else. This year was different. We have become so involved in our church that I hate missing a service. My week is not complete without our Sunday School class, service. It makes the world a nicer place. I went to church yesterday. I thought it was going to be hard. I had no idea. We had a baby dedication, that was so sweet and my heart cracked a little, but I was OK. Then they started to recognize the Moms of the congregation. Our pastor had the little ones pass out a bookmark and a lapel pin to all the Moms. All the kids raced to give their Mom a hug and that pin first. It was so sweet. Then they raced back to help pass out the rest of the pins to the other Moms. My heart broke. I lost it. No, I was not sitting in a pew where only the pastor could see me crying. I was in the loft with the choir facing the entire church. Ladies it was an ugly cry. Yeah, you know the one. I was trying to hold it in but that did not help anything. Did I mention I sit on the front row of the choir. Our choir is made up of some very compassionate people. They were able to help me laugh and comfort me at the same time so I could half way get my stuff together and sing and not embarrass myself anymore than I already had.

I felt so alone, like no one understood how I felt. Its not that I am not happy to celebrate. The reason I am sharing this because I know there have to be other woman out there who feel like I do. Please know you are not alone in feeling the pain of Mothers Day.

I was reading http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/ this blog (which is really great by the way) and she had a link to this post http://thepipers.wordpress.com/2009/05/09/do-you-want-to-die-this-mothers-day/ . This post gave me the courage to share. It also let me know I am not alone with this pain. The really great thing is I have a God who I know will heal my pain in a way that He sees fit. He is my comforter and I will get through this. He has a plan for me and my life. Whatever that plan is I will serve Him while I wait.