Mothers Day......a day of celebration and pain

I love having a day to celebrate the women that have touched and shaped my life. My Mom, first and foremost, but then there are my Grandmothers, Aunts, women I call my 2ND Mother,my Mother in law, and my Sister. These women have taught me how to be a woman and changed my life in ways they will never know. We need to let these women more often how much we appreciate them more than once a year.

Mothers Day also is a day of pain for many women, including me.

• Women who have lost one of these important women in their lives.
• Women who have lost their child/children from whatever cause
• Women who have never been able to have to children.

I am in that third category. Year after year Mothers Day gets a little harder. I have made it a habit to try to spend Mothers Day with my Mom and not go anywhere else. This year was different. We have become so involved in our church that I hate missing a service. My week is not complete without our Sunday School class, service. It makes the world a nicer place. I went to church yesterday. I thought it was going to be hard. I had no idea. We had a baby dedication, that was so sweet and my heart cracked a little, but I was OK. Then they started to recognize the Moms of the congregation. Our pastor had the little ones pass out a bookmark and a lapel pin to all the Moms. All the kids raced to give their Mom a hug and that pin first. It was so sweet. Then they raced back to help pass out the rest of the pins to the other Moms. My heart broke. I lost it. No, I was not sitting in a pew where only the pastor could see me crying. I was in the loft with the choir facing the entire church. Ladies it was an ugly cry. Yeah, you know the one. I was trying to hold it in but that did not help anything. Did I mention I sit on the front row of the choir. Our choir is made up of some very compassionate people. They were able to help me laugh and comfort me at the same time so I could half way get my stuff together and sing and not embarrass myself anymore than I already had.

I felt so alone, like no one understood how I felt. Its not that I am not happy to celebrate. The reason I am sharing this because I know there have to be other woman out there who feel like I do. Please know you are not alone in feeling the pain of Mothers Day.

I was reading http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/ this blog (which is really great by the way) and she had a link to this post http://thepipers.wordpress.com/2009/05/09/do-you-want-to-die-this-mothers-day/ . This post gave me the courage to share. It also let me know I am not alone with this pain. The really great thing is I have a God who I know will heal my pain in a way that He sees fit. He is my comforter and I will get through this. He has a plan for me and my life. Whatever that plan is I will serve Him while I wait.